Q:
I was baptized a little over a year ago. I was baptized because I knew
for a fact all of the things most people do: Jesus Christ is our Savior, Thomas
S. Monson is a prophet, the church is true, etc... But now, I just don't. I'm
no longer sure if the Book of Mormon is true. I can't read any scriptures. I don't even know if they are true. I'm not sure Thomas S. Monson is a prophet. But I want to be sure. I
want to be like I was a year ago. But I don't know how.
A:
When you first got baptized no doubt you were on a spiritual high, and
your emotions were probably running high as well. Now that time has passed, your emotions have
cooled somewhat, and you have had to face the relatively mundane task of
maintaining (and nurturing) your testimony from day to day. C. S. Lewis
declared that such a change in mood is natural, and that it is precisely in
moments such as these that faith is most useful:
"Now faith, in the sense in
which I am here using the word, is the art of holding on to things your reason
has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods. For moods will change,
whatever view your reason takes. I know that by experience. Now that I am a
Christian I do have moods in which the whole thing looks very improbable: but
when I was an atheist I had moods in which Christianity looked terribly probable.
This rebellion of your moods against your real self is going to come anyway.
That is why Faith is such a necessary virtue: unless you teach your moods
“where they get off,” you can never be either a sound Christian or even a sound
atheist, but just a creature dithering to and fro, with its beliefs really
dependent on the weather and the state of its digestion. Consequently one
must train the habit of Faith.
The first step is to recognize
[sic] the fact that your moods change. The next is to make sure that, if you
have once accepted Christianity, then some of its main doctrines shall be
deliberately held before your mind for some time every day. That is why
daily prayers and religious reading and church-going are necessary parts of the
Christian life. We have to be continually reminded of what we believe.
Neither this belief nor any other will automatically remain alive in
the mind. It must be fed. And as a matter of fact, if you examined a
hundred people who had lost their faith in Christianity, I wonder how many of
them would turn out to have been reasoned out of it by honest argument? Do not
most people simply drift away?" (Mere Christianity, 140-141)
C. S. Lewis lists three things
which he tells us are "necessary parts of Christian life," if we are
to keep our faith "fed" and nurtured. I call these things "the
three pillars of personal testimony," because they are essential in the
maintenance and development of a healthy testimony and a robust faith.
*Daily prayers (Constant prayer)
*Religious readings (Consistent
scripture study)
*Church-going (Regular & worthy
observance of the sacrament)
Mormons often call these three
things the "Sunday School answers" because they seem so obvious, and
so they make for easy answers at church. However, I have noticed that people
who run into trouble with their testimony have typically neglected one, or all,
of these things. My advice to you is to shore up the foundation of your
testimony by rebuilding these three pillars even stronger than they were
before.
Elder Neal A. Maxwell, late of the
Quorum of the Twelve apostles, recognized that it is easy to become weary in
our testimony and understanding of the things of God, and he echoes C. S. Lewis
in asserting the need for each of us to continually “renew and refresh” the
principles (and our testimony) of the gospel in our minds.
Maxwell emphasizes that it is we who are primarily responsible for the
nourishment of our minds with the truths of the gospel.
“How vital that our minds feast
upon the words of Christ and that we be firm and unshaken as we encounter the
challenges of life! ...To do His redemptive work daily thus requires
understanding His doctrines and having them constantly refreshed and renewed,
lest we “faint” in our minds of become “weary” in mind (Hebrews 12:3; D&C
84:80). Peter used the metaphor which
urges us to gird up the loins of your mind” (1 Peter 1:13). Therefore, a one-time, intellectual
acceptance of doctrines to then be filed away is simply not enough. In discipleship there must be interactiveness
of intellect and behavior.
There must likewise be constancy in
the nourishment of the mind by truth and by “having your loins girt about with
truth” (Ephesians 6:14; D&C 27:16).
The dictionary defines gird as
to bind, to make fast, to surround, and to prepare for action, suggesting
anything but isolation, intellectual flabbiness, or lassitude” (Neal A.
Maxwell, The Promise of Discipleship,
48-49).
Faith is a living principle, and like any living thing it takes time to develop properly--you can't expect to gain a robust testimony overnight. Furthermore, if you neglect to care for it and nourish it properly, not only will your faith fail to grow, but it will eventually wither and die.
"Seeking for and obtaining a testimony of spiritual truth requires asking, seeking, and knocking (see Matthew 7:7; 3 Nephi 14:7) with a sincere heart, real intent, and faith in the Savior." (David A. Bednar, “Converted unto the Lord,” Ensign, Nov. 2012, lds.org).
If, through your diligence, you can forge these habits into the character of a true disciple you will be empowered and enabled to obtain the knowledge and assurance you will need to endure to the end in faith and devotion to Christ and His gospel.
"Some
people speak of a testimony as if it were a light switch—it’s either on
or off; you either have a testimony, or you do not. In reality, a
testimony is more like a tree that passes through various stages of
growth and development. Some of the tallest trees on earth are found in
Redwood National Park in the western United States. When you stand at
the base of these massive trees, it is amazing to think that each one
grew from a tiny seed. So it is with our testimonies. Although they may
begin with a single spiritual experience, they grow and develop over
time through constant nourishment and frequent spiritual encounters.
It’s
not surprising, then, that when the prophet Alma explained how we
develop a testimony, he spoke of a seed growing into a tree" (Craig C. Christensen, "I Know These Things of Myself," Ensign, November 2014, 51).If you have stopped reading your scriptures, pick them up again. If you have stopped going to church, go back and then keep going. If you have stopped praying, get down on your knees and pray. If you don't "feel" like praying , then you ought to follow Brigham Young's advice: “It matters not whether you or I feel like praying, when the time comes to pray, pray. If we do not feel like it, we should pray till we do” (Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young, Chapter 6: “Communication between God and Man”). If you really want to know like you did when you were baptized (or better), then make these things into habits, and they will go a long way toward helping you to regain your testimony. If you really want to know the truth of the gospel and of this church, then you will be required to ask the Lord in faith, with a sincere heart and real intent, which will require work and diligence and perseverance on your part.Alma 32:37-42 And behold, as the tree [of faith] beginneth to grow, ye will say: Let us nourish it with great care, that it may get root, that it may grow up, and bring forth fruit unto us. And now behold, if ye nourish it with much care it will get root, and grow up, and bring forth fruit. But if ye neglect the tree, and take no thought for its nourishment, behold it will not get any root; and when the heat of the sun cometh and scorcheth it, because it hath no root it withers away, and ye pluck it up and cast it out. Now, this is not because the seed was not good, neither is it because the fruit thereof would not be desirable; but it is because your ground is barren, and ye will not nourish the tree, therefore ye cannot have the fruit thereof. And thus, if ye will not nourish the word, looking forward with an eye of faith to the fruit thereof, ye can never pluck of the fruit of the tree of life. But if ye will nourish the word, yea, nourish the tree as it beginneth to grow, by your faith with great diligence, and with patience, looking forward to the fruit thereof, it shall take root; and behold it shall be a tree springing up unto everlasting life. And because of your diligence and your faith and your patience with the word in nourishing it, that it may take root in you, behold, by and by ye shall pluck the fruit thereof, which is most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet, and which is white above all that is white, yea, and pure above all that is pure; and ye shall feast upon this fruit even until ye are filled, that ye hunger not, neither shall ye thirst.
"Seeking for and obtaining a testimony of spiritual truth requires asking, seeking, and knocking (see Matthew 7:7; 3 Nephi 14:7) with a sincere heart, real intent, and faith in the Savior." (David A. Bednar, “Converted unto the Lord,” Ensign, Nov. 2012, lds.org).
If, through your diligence, you can forge these habits into the character of a true disciple you will be empowered and enabled to obtain the knowledge and assurance you will need to endure to the end in faith and devotion to Christ and His gospel.
Do not be discouraged if your
testimony is not as strong as you would like it to be! Instead, choose to act now to nourish and
fortify your testimony through diligent prayer, scripture study, and church
attendance, as well as through faithful obedience to the principles of the
gospel. As you do so, you will be
blessed with an added measure of the Holy Spirit, whose job it is to bring all
of Christ’s teachings (back) to your remembrance and to testify to you of the truth of
the restored gospel and of the reality of God’s love. This increased spiritual sensitivity will do
much to reinforce and strengthen your testimony of, and faith in, God and His
church. In the process you will find that you (and your testimony) will be "transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God" (see Romans 12:1-2).
For more on The Three Pillars of Personal Testimony, click HERE.
For advice on building your faith, read my article "The Truth About Faith."
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